What Smart Men Know: A Guide To Understanding WomenCategory: Women
Article posted by: Stevee Ashlock
Smart men are well groomed by good mothers and patient sweethearts. They are a quick study who value peace in their personal relationships with the women in their lives. They are smart enough to know that as a man, they will never know the full depths of a woman.
Smart men are like a secret society. No one is quite sure how it came about, but they aren’t telling anyone. Therefore, listen up, men! Let’s make your lives a lot easier by adhering to the following guidelines.
1) NEVER, NEVER....and I will say NEVER (again) criticize (even if you call it constructive) a woman's makeup, hair style, face, wrinkles, what she is wearing and ESPECIALLY her body or figure. DO NOT TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE GYM TO WORKOUT! Just don't even go there. If you do, you WILL NOT like the results! This is offensive, abusive behavior, and she will end up despising you.
This is a territory that men have no business crossing these boundaries unless that is your professional business, and you are hired as an expert. Your life will be much happier if you can just grasp this one concept!
2) Sincere, encouraging compliments will get you the results you desire. BUT do not give a "back handed" compliment...such as "Gosh, you look wonderful, but if you worked out you could even look better. HUGE NO-NO! You must STOP after the end of the compliment and not interject the put down at the end. This is very offensive and makes the original compliment null and void...worthless.
3) It takes at least 20 meaningful positive compliments to make up for just ONE thoughtless, hurtful criticism (constructive or not).
4) A women will remember each hurtful statement inflicted on her, especially from her lover. It will be eternally carved into her mind. Therefore, it is BEST to practice biting your tongue and saying nothing. If you cannot say something nice and complimentary...keep your mouth closed!
5) Do not speak about that in which you are not an expert! Such as, you have never been a woman, so please don't even think you know what a woman thinks, feels, or what they should or shouldn’t do.
Biggest mistake men make is thinking that they know how a woman does or doesn't feel. Since you have NEVER been a woman, it is in your best interest to listen to one and take notes! Men and women are VERY different; therefore you must either learn to deal with it properly, or you will be very miserable and lonely.
6) It is NEVER okay to be judgmental, critical or controlling in a relationship. These are the deadly three relationship sins! By the way, jealousy is NOT an attractive attribute. Go up and wear your big boy undies.
7) Keep mental notes of what your lady likes. Use that list often to show your appreciation and love for her. Treat her like a Queen, and you will be her royal King. Happy Woman = Happy Man!
8) DO NOT demand sex from your partner. Understand that a woman has different sexual needs than a man. Women need to be romanced and warmed up....like nice compliments, hot bath together, a sensual massage, etc. A selfish lover with pent up frustrations is not a turn on to a woman!
9) If a woman is NOT in the mood for sex, it rarely has anything to do with her partner (unless she is upset with him). Iit has more to do with how she is feeling. KEY: You need to ask, "Is there something I may do to make you feel better?" Then, by all means, do it! That will more than likely get her in the mood for sexual activity. The long term benefit is she will love you even more.
When she is not in the mood for sex....ABSOLUTELY....DO NOT say mean things to her. That WILL NOT get the results you want. HUGE MISTAKE! This is where you learn patience, true love and understanding....and it is NOT all about you. By all means, do not seek an affair. Keep your pants on with the zipper locked.
10) DO NOT discuss your personal relationship with others. It is none of their business! That would be the blatant violation of trust.
11) A woman needs to be the QUEEN of the home. Let her make the decisions on the decor and furnishings. A man can gently (not demanding) input his requests. He may wish to have his own space within the home to do as he wishes, but the general household should reflect the influence of the woman. Additionally, both parties need to equally involved in making decisions in financial affairs. Remember that woman like to have a little "mad” money to do as they please. Do not question them about it.
12) Lastly, it is much better to keep the peace in the relationship than forcing your opinions on someone to prove you have a valid point. In the end, you may win the argument, but you LOOSE big time in the relationship! Not worth it! Learn to keep quiet and you will have the peace and harmony you desire. Sometimes, a man needs to just suck it up! Women are experts at doing this, because we have done it for years. Now, we desire the same courtesy in return.
Oft times a man exclaim, "You’ve changed! What happened to you?” The reality is that the woman has not changed at all. She just grew tired of sucking it up to keep the peace in the relationship, meanwhile fending off cruel criticisms and offensive behavior. She is speaking her mind to let you know that this abusive behavior must stop immediately. Abuse is never okay!
If a man would simply follow these basic rules, divorce attorneys would be non-existent. It all boils down to: keep your mouth closed with your pants zipper up and your hands to yourself. A woman does not need a "parental” or "drill sergeant” type relationship. A woman longs for a loving partner that accepts her the way she is and has the ability to cherish her uniqueness.
Recommended book: 101 Things A Man Should Never Say To The Woman He Loves written by Fred Toleman
Posted By: Stevee Ashlock
Web: http://www.StoneybrookProductions.net
Contact: e-mail
| About the Author: |
| From Africa to Atlanta, Stevee Ashlock, owner of Stoneybrook Productions, is an international speaker, trainer and image consultant appearing at universities, conventions, conferences and associations. Highlights include speaking engagements at the GTTI University in Banjul, The Republic of Gambia, West Africa, and the 2007 CyberCrime Summit at Kennesaw State University.
As a keynote speaker, Stevee facilitates corporate seminars and interactive workshops concentrating on the professional’s presentation. Stevee has participated in numerous high profile criminal trials, working side-by-side with the counsel team, coaching and refining important strategies used in the courtroom to elevate jury awareness and comprehension of their witnesses and evidence.
Stevee provides clients with a fresh insight and unique image consulting service specializing in the effective preparation of the professional. She strategizes one-on-one with her clients to perfect their courtroom efficiency and dynamics. She blends science and art into effectual communication that will be vitally important to how someone perceives you, which ultimately affects your credibility.
Stevee is a graduate of the FBI Citizen's Academy and is listed in the Madison Who’s Who of Executives and Professionals, Presidential Who's Who and the National Association of Professional Women - all for significant accomplishments, contribution to society and dedication toward exemplary goals. As a published author and syndicated columnist, Stevee has earned the Editor’s Choice Award from the International Library of Poetry.
Stevee is a member of the Toastmasters International and an author and syndicated columnist. In her spare time, Stevee dedicates her time to numerous charities. |
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